On an adventure yesterday, road trip through the country side with one of my best friends. We found a set of stairs belonging to an old train station in a small country town of Linville.
No body likes death, once your gone you are gone. Once someone you love becomes sick, its like a waiting game, a painful waiting game. When cancer kicks in , dying becomes scary… it keeps spreading likes vines, spreading and griping onto anything it can.
My grandma has cancer, shes in the last stage of cancer. I go sit with her in Hospital. She lays there, has a bit of a chat and closes her eyes. Shes tired. I have known grandma to be motivted .. But she is weak. Its sad really, but after a few weeks of struggling to accept, I Finally can.
Practicing Mindfullness to cope, accept.
I picture myself on the cliff , looking down, I can see my family there, mum is trying to keep busy just like her father, my uncle looks like he is chattering away, my cousins face looks blotchy, my other uncle has his head lowered and his is frowing. I stand there a watch my family go through what i am going through, we all cope differently. I am not enjoying the height of watching, I wish I could be there and help but so many people and so many noises get to me. So I get them and have to get me too.