Have you ever looked at someone else’s family and thought wow they are so beautiful? Just the way they seem to work together, be together and just love each other. If you missed out on that with your own family then you’d know it felt for me seeing a beautiful family. JEALOUS yet the sad kind, the feeling you get when you feel tears come from your own heart. The worst part is the flashbacks from growing up as the imposter, the one who didn’t fit in. The one who felt left out of all three families. Mums side, dads side and the step dads side.
I can see where my partners beautiful nature comes from, and standing back and watching him be with his family makes me smile, makes my heart melt. It’s wonderful, they don’t judge you on your appearance or the choices you make, they still laugh with you, comfort you and support you. I see where my partner got those traits from.
Personally I am scared of the unknown, I’m not use to this. For me growing up and now I feel that I missed out on what my partner has. As I watch what he has and think about what I’m use to I realize that hiding in a bedroom, crying and writing about it isn’t going to solve anything. Maybe, should tell him why I get so overwhelmed and have to be alone. In which I’m use to doing things on my own & this beautiful family do it together. I’m still learning as a adult.
What makes you feel at peace? What do you feel connected to? What is your high power?
I’ve been wanting to make a post about what I believe is my higher power, what brings peace to my inner self. No, it’s not God, although I believe myself to be quite spiritual. My high power is known as nature. Our plants.
Near my house there is a nursery, on my days off I take go on my lonesome and sit within, with the plants.
Have you ever heard the story about the butterflies? The ones kept in a cage, they were safe from danger and harm, the were protected from the outside world. They were well fed and looked after.
One day one someone left the lock on the cage unlocked, and there was an opening to leave, all except one butterfly stayed. The ones who stayed looked puzzled and never understood why that one butterfly wanted to leave an environment where they felt safe and looked after. They asked, “Why would you leave when it’s safer in here…?”
That one butterfly replied with., “because I’m free.”
If you have a chance think about it, how did you interpret this story? Did make you think about something in your life right now or something in the past? What is freedom to you?