A girl with a fragile heart, never actually heals, she just tries to survive.
Have you ever looked at someone else’s family and thought wow they are so beautiful? Just the way they seem to work together, be together and just love each other. If you missed out on that with your own family then you’d know it felt for me seeing a beautiful family. JEALOUS yet the sad kind, the feeling you get when you feel tears come from your own heart. The worst part is the flashbacks from growing up as the imposter, the one who didn’t fit in. The one who felt left out of all three families. Mums side, dads side and the step dads side.
I can see where my partners beautiful nature comes from, and standing back and watching him be with his family makes me smile, makes my heart melt. It’s wonderful, they don’t judge you on your appearance or the choices you make, they still laugh with you, comfort you and support you. I see where my partner got those traits from.
Personally I am scared of the unknown, I’m not use to this. For me growing up and now I feel that I missed out on what my partner has. As I watch what he has and think about what I’m use to I realize that hiding in a bedroom, crying and writing about it isn’t going to solve anything. Maybe, should tell him why I get so overwhelmed and have to be alone. In which I’m use to doing things on my own & this beautiful family do it together. I’m still learning as a adult.
In the image above you can well and truly see I have gotten into propagating, some plants you can do it in water and well other prefer the soil.
I’d like to thank the lovely Instagrammer below for giving me some advice. Attached is her Insta if you’d like to check it out.
Check out my panda plant, it’s finally got more growth spurts
I just want to get a pen and paper and write… I mean who really wants to hear my random racing thoughts? Most of the time I don’t even want to think about the thoughts cause there is no importance behind it. I mean yes I am easily amused, I like to analyse and problems solve and I like to find a way to make a negative situation positive. But being an over thinker can be extremely tiring for me, I find it hard work. I also find it comes in handy especially working in an industry where attention to detail is highly important.
I have realized that when my brain is trying to process alot, I struggle to find something to blog about. So many things inspire me, I don’t just have one Hobbie, I have many, I just don’t have a few ideas, I have heaps and trying to mold it all into one is was I aim to do on here. As I find having this blog actually helps me with over thinking and expressing.
Re Wiring the Brain
I’m no mental health genius but I do have experience, which I enjoy sharing with my followers, friends & family, hoping to enlighten them. I did overall 18months of Dialectical Behavior Therapy(DBT) & that I do recommend!
Majority of the time we view over thinking as some what negative, but imagine if you had the ability to re wire your brain into making the situation positive, or just looking at it positively. PROBLEM SOLVING. Belive me when I say this skill does not happen over night and can enable one to become physically and mentally exhausted, however it has worked for me.
If you managed to get to the bottom of this post and you have questions feel free to ask, I’ll answer the best I can.
Winter is here & so is my love for being nice & warm. I do not enjoy the cold, but I do enjoy cute winter outfits. I just wanted to share some images my friend took of me in my new sweater. Can’t wait to buy more 😍
Everything is hard, but is it really hard if you make it possible?
What makes you feel at peace? What do you feel connected to? What is your high power?
I’ve been wanting to make a post about what I believe is my higher power, what brings peace to my inner self. No, it’s not God, although I believe myself to be quite spiritual. My high power is known as nature. Our plants.
Near my house there is a nursery, on my days off I take go on my lonesome and sit within, with the plants.
“We plant a garden as we believe in tomorrow.”
High in protein, light & fluffy, delicate and easy! How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, fried, boiled, omellete or maybe another way? I was tossing up between scrambled or a omellete for lunch… I chose an omellete, flipping it wasn’t as successful as other times but the taste was amazing and fulfilling.
Imagine.. Imagine a box can be any size, it fits all of your current aches, stresses and problems, it’s heavy so heavy. There there is you feeling weak, tired, stressed and exhausted. But without giving up and walking about you try to move this box, you push, you pull, you lean up against realising it’s way too much for you. So, you ask for help, think safety first, psychological safety and well can be physical too.. You are not weak for asking for help, instead you feel supported. One person may help you, may give you resources and ways to make this box lighter or maybe more than one person..
Sometimes it’s about the journey more so the destination, they come hand in hand. I’ll let you work that one out..
So back to the box, people have come to help, it becomes an easier experience for you.. You start to feel lighter and you roll with it. The box may just disappear. I find the box becomes lighter and the little things haven’t piled up again.